Process of Forgiveness

As I have thought on “Forgiveness”, I realized that forgiveness comes very easy for me. I typically have my blowup and then I am done. It is over as far as I am concerned. Unfortunately, it may not be that way for the other person involved. Even though forgiveness comes easy for me it is the steps getting to forgiveness that I find myself searching deep within. I can definitely pull away as Mike mentioned during the sermon on Sunday. Sometimes I find myself pulling away and staying away, finding a peace of not having that person or “their” problems in my life. I can even spend time on my own forgiveness because I know I need it. The next step is where the break down begins. I may find myself not praying about the situation enough because of my new found “peace”. I am sure you have heard the saying “the calm before the storm” well that seems to explain me. The next step, “compassion confrontation communication”, is definitely my storm. If I could go from step 1 to forgiveness I would have it made. I do not like confrontation and once I am in the thick of it I tend to let my emotions take control and push God to the back. I do believe that these steps that Mike has given us have allowed me to see the break down in the process for me. I also realized that I need to have more faith in my Lord that He will help me through whatever situation may come my way. These are people God has put into my life for a reason so who am I to discard it.

Forgiveness as an action...

Forgiveness has come to define my life in Christ. I was not raised in a Christian home and did not really come to know Christ until I was an adult. The choices that I had made up to that time had been simultaneously self-serving and self-destructive. When I came face to face with Jesus and realized that His grace and His grace alone saved me, I was overcome with sorrow and gratitude. That He could forgive me! It was too amazing to comprehend. Luke 7:47 (NIV) states, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” How I could relate to the sinful woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears! My tears have fallen at His feet so often. My love is so immense because His forgiveness is so great.

Once I realized God’s forgiveness, then the process of forgiving others began. It was not an easy task. There were so many people in my life, that I felt, didn’t deserve my forgiveness. There was one in particular, “Uncle Ray,”—a man who had been a good friend of the family from the time I was eight until I was eleven. He would often care for my sister and me while our mother was out, and during that time he committed unmentionable things to me. Surely, he didn’t deserve to be forgiven? But then God would always gently remind me that I didn’t deserve His forgiveness, either. Yet, there it was, free and clear. Through prayer and faith, God gave me the forgiveness that I needed to move forward in my walk with Him. I’ve been moving forward daily, convinced that all wounds from the past had been healed and forgiven. That is until Sunday.

One of the points Pastor Mike made in his sermon on forgiveness is that we need to express it to our offender. He stressed the importance of dealing with the sin and offering our forgiveness. Suddenly, I realized that I had never done this with Ray, and when faced with the reality of offering him my forgiveness, I became conscious of the fact that I didn’t want to offer it. But then I was reminded that my forgiveness might make an eternal difference, and if that’s the case, who am I to withhold that from another person, no matter what the offense? I have an opportunity to offer Ray what God offered me—freedom from shame! I recognized that I could never live with the guilt of knowing that I had an opportunity to demonstrate God’s grace to another and didn’t do it.

Forgiveness of some offences cannot be found within us, but through the power of God it comes easily. Especially if we step back and realize that without the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we, too, might commit the same crimes. I have not yet written my letter to Ray, but I know that it must be written. It is something that I will need to pray about and perhaps receive counsel on how it should be written. One thing I do know is that it must speak only of forgiveness and not condemnation. After all, isn’t that what we have received from God?

Kim Hebenstreit

Where are you?

The Relationship series has been a crucial time in the life of our church. As a body of believers we have gathered each week and tackled some BIG words in our lives. So far we have learned what it means to LOVE someone in a way that would meet their needs, how to open our hearts to TRUSTting God and others, and how to FORGIVE as we have been FORGIVEN.

So where are you in this journey?

The staff and support team of Celebration would love to know what God has been doing in your life during this series.

You may post your comment below.

If you have missed any of our sermons in this series, click here to listen.

God's timing

Today I had a pretty profound conversation with one of my students. I teach Special Education students. On top of that, this student has an Emotional Behavior Disorder. What does that mean? He has trouble handling his emotions which then leads to some less than desirable behaviors.

Today it was time to have what I call a "come to Jesus" meeting with the boy. Who says religion is out of schools :) ? I was done with the of the lack of effort, poor me, I am better than this work and you attitude. So I finally sat down with him, Dr. Phil style, to get the low down on what was going on with him.

In words that I can't write on a church blog, he simply told me that he would NOT be doing his homework because he couldn't read or do math and it was a waste of time.

WHOA! STOP THE PRESSES! You mean there are 8th graders that can't read? You bet.

I told him that I could help him. I could help him learn to read and we could work on this work together. His response stopped me in my tracks.

"YOU HELP ME? WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU?"

Well Lord, why don't you bring Sunday's sermon right on into an 8th grade, physical science, special education classroom please?

Great question he poses! Why should he trust me? Why should he trust me to actually help him instead of yelling at him because he doesn't match up to unrealistic expectations. Why should he trust another adult, just so someone else can let him down? Why should he invest the chance that I am going to be different than all the others?

I don't have the answer to those questions. But I do know that someone has got to help this kid. Someone has got to remove their mask in front of this boy. Someone has to be real in his life so that he can maybe start moving past some of the hard core issues that he has going on within him. Someone has got to start following through on their word and showing him that not all people are the same.

So here I sit. I'm watching him complete a missing assignment and listening to Metallica because that's what he says helps him study. Well buddy...you got it.

Lord help me be someone that he can trust. I will fail him at some point I'm sure, but help that be a lesson in forgiveness and grace that only YOU can teach.

Pray for him and for me and all of the teachers that you know. Kids are trusting us everyday.

Christy Peevy

Trusting One Another

Trusting Another

“Trust is the thread that weaves a relationship from the starting patch of acquaintance to the beautiful quilt of intimate friendship and soul mate.”

As I reflect on that statement from my sermon, I imagine a room with many quilt patches strewn on the floor. These patches showed promise yet they were never woven into a quilt. Left behind on the floor, they look more like clutter that needs to be swept away.

Am I afraid to trust another?
Do I want to protect myself from being hurt?
Having hurt those closest to me in the past, do I not trust myself in relationship with others?

At one time these patches had promise, the beginnings of a brand new quilt. Now they represent hope squelched. When I come to the close of life, I do not think success will be determined by the one with the greatest number of patches. No, the real winner will be the one wrapped in the warmth of a colorful quilt.

Mike Day

Trust with All Your Heart

We are halfway through the relationship series. Last week was fun as Mike preached about love. It is comforting to know that you have a God, family, friends, and church that loves you. I especially enjoyed seeing the slide show with all the thoughtful messages. I smile every time I think of Robin and Stephen as they showed their love for each other. This Sunday was different. There was no warm and fuzzy slide show with our Celebration family sharing who and how they trust folks. Instead we saw folks on the street being asked to define “trust.” The answers were diverse to say the least. The one that has played over and over in my mind was the lady in her late fifties who stated that she had spent her whole life trying to figure out what it meant to trust, and then she dropped the bomb. She still had not figured it out!!!!

I am grateful that from an early age God has placed people around me that were trustworthy. They were in the form of parents, grandparents, teachers, aunts, uncles, friends and even siblings. It is much easier to define trust when it has been modeled for you and you have experienced it.

However, these experiences did not fully prepare me for the level of trust that would be needed to enter into the greatest earthly trust relationship…marriage. On July 4, 1996, God reunited me with an old friend from high school. She was now finished with college and teaching high school. After we talked for a few minutes, I was certain that she needed to date me…J It only took me two weeks to get her to take my call and agree to a date. After our third date, I was convinced that if I was not ready to get married I should never go out with her again. This girl was everything that I had every prayed for in a bride. She was beautiful, smart, athletic, and very godly. I was way out of my league. Within nine months we were engaged, and six months later Traci and I were married.

During our engagement, we had a dilemma. Where would we attend church when we were married? I was helping lead a youth group at my home church, and Traci was very active teaching and serving at her home church. After much prayer, discussion and searching we concluded that we would not be serving at either of our home churches. That was a big help since we went from having two options to now having about 85 possibilities. Within about a month, I got a call from a guy who was going to start a church in South Hall County, and he offered for us to be a part of the leadership team. This was an additional opportunity to learn about trust as we had a new group of “best friends” that we knew very little about. The church launched exactly one month after our wedding!!!

Over the past 12 years, God has revealed a great deal to Traci and I about how he desires for us to trust each other, others and most importantly, Him. I am eternally thankful that God gave me the most trustworthy person I know to be married to. Traci knows way too much about me and she still loves me. I am not saying she does not want to change some things about me. She would love for me to remember the four things on the grocery list instead of being able to recall the batting line up for the 1982 Atlanta Braves. But, there is no person that I trust more than her. The foundation of our trust in each other is rooted in our trust in God. I am convinced if we remain committed to trusting God in all that he desires for our lives and the lives of our families, we will never waiver in our trust of each other. One of the first verses I remember memorizing was Proverbs 3:5-6 which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your abilities; in all your ways acknowledge God and he will make your paths straight.” I am sure that without a trust in God I would be just like the lady on the street who was unable to “figure out” the meaning of trust. For me trust is having confidence in someone other than myself!

Ted

TRUST

Trust is another one of those things that is believed to be true because it's something that cannot be seen. Like LOVE, we and others, only see the effects of love. Mike made a statement that, "Trust is the working part of building relationships." The more you think about that statement, the more you have to believe it. We have different levels of trust; we trust that the chair we are about to sit in will keep us from falling on our rear,

we trust that the Laws of Gravity will remain in effect and keep us grounded so we don't fly off the Earth.

Then there's our trust in Jesus, whom we trust and believe died for us as a sacrificial Lamb. Lisa and I were talking about the example of Abraham and Isaac. Lisa said that she hated this example because there is NO WAY that she would be willing to sacrifice her one and only son. I tend to agree. If you look close at this story, no where do you read about Sarah. I think God purposefully doesn't mention the mom. This seems to be the ultimate sacrifice, which is the point of the story. I don't think that I'm trusting or mature enough to make this kind of sacrifice. I would not have been a willing participant in an event like this. Aren't you glad that the fate of the modern world doesn't depend on me? I AM!

Anyway back to trust. I once heard a story about a scientific exploration of a group of Botanist that were searching for a rare flower that only bloomed once every 500 years and only grew on the sides of the Andean Mountains. As fate or luck would have it, the team of scientist received word of a sighting of the rare flower. They hurried to the sight and low and behold they had finally found it. The only problem was that it was on the side of the mountain on a steep cliff and they had no clue how they were going to get it. A small boy, from a nearby village said he would go down and retrieve the flower. When the scientist agreed to the boys terms he turned and ran toward his village.When he returned, he had a small frail looking old man with him. The scientist questioned him on why he brought the old man back? The little boy replied."This is my father. He is the only one that I trust to hold the rope for me as I climb down."

Trust is something that we see the effects of, even though we can't actually see it. Belief is the first step, trust is the next step.

The other statement that stood out to me went something like this, "When we trust other people we open ourselves up, we make ourselves vulnerable." This is another one of those statements that makes you say "HMMM" and yes, after thinking about it. You have to agree. Along with being vulnerable there are benefits as Mike stated.

Thinking about Lisa's and my testimony, it was only through relationships that we even "gave Jesus a chance." By someone just loving us and not judging our actions, but also loving us as a child of God. To the world this makes no sense, but to a "REAL CHRISTIAN" THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO VIEW PEOPLE. I said this only out of knowledge, not a working knowledge, I haven't gotten there yet. It is said that when we give of ourselves, there is no other time in which we are more like God. I tend to compare all relationships to marriage; Before a man and a woman get married they spend time together and get to know one another. I believe this is true with all relationships. Time must be invested if they are to work, if the "MASKS" are to be removed, before the "WOW" moments are to come, before we are too "COMPLETE OURSELVES AS HUMAN BEINGS."Will we take the challenge and open ourselves up? We will, if and only if we want our relationships with each other and God to grow and prosper. It takes two for a relationship to grow.

Will you make the first move?

God did for us, follow his lead.

This is TRUST.

Mickey Mills